Saturday, 10 January 2015

Feeling, like your not yourself?


So many friends and I have discussed this. I think it's important to acknowledge and be aware if you don't feel right because that's half the battle.
It doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you a bad mother and it doesn't make you less of a person. 

You and your body have gone through the most powerful changes, that I know for certain, no man could. You are solely responsible for that bubba and nothing to do with you or your life is important anymore, or for the time being and that's just how it is. 
It's your new life, your adapting to a 360 change. It will be normality at some point, as humans we need normality but time brings us this. 

I was glad I was honest with myself and knew something wasn't right. I felt like a totally different person, my hair, my skin, my body, all felt like someone else's, like i had stepped into somebody else's shoes. 
I felt nervous all the time and angry. It all went away as soon as I looked at her though, so I knew it wasn't post natal depression, I haven't suffered that, so I can't comment but my heart goes out to the Mummy's that have. 

I started to try and deal with my anxiety issues on my own, spoke a lot about it with my mum and some friends. 
I visited the doctor about something else one day, then when my blood test came back it saw that I had an under active thyroid. That, explained a lot! 
It doesn't mean that I don't have down days, don't we all! But generally I started to feel like me again. 
I truly believe until A was about 10months, nothing was settled, I still wasn't quite there or settled in any sort of way. Now, I feel settled. 
We have our little ways, don't get me wrong, like every parent, we make it all up as we go along, hope for the best and take it minute by minute, learning as we go. But now, i finally feel like I can get some 'me time' in and I know when I get 'me time', in my Mummy day! 
It's all normal, however you feel, it's normal. 

Don't ever feel afraid to talk about it, everyone has ears and everyone has feelings, share them, itl feel so much better to know that someone else was or is going through the same thing you are.

Happy thoughts!

Much Love Mummy's x