It's been a while...

To everybody that has recently read my blog, thank you, I cringe in my seat whilst being truly grateful for your kind words. I never intended to write this for people to read but some how it seemed silly not to publish? I assumed I wouldn't be the "only one".

I'm sorry it's been a while!!! Our little journey kind of plateaux for a while and everything was running smoothly when..... THE TERRIBLE TWOS reared its ugly head and said "hey, you thought this was easy but I'm here to remind you it's not!". 

It's always challenging to be a parent, I knew that, to be honest I am in a minority I think, she is such a good girl with a kind heart and compared to some, she sleeps through and has in the last few months begun to understand things I say. DB underestimates her, which I believe will bite him on the bum for years to come! She knows what I mean when I say "no" or "pick that up", even "naughty" rings a few bells! 

I think it has made a breakthrough for us all, we still have that lack of communication, so we can tell her but she can't tell us. I cannot wait until she can talk to me properly. She says quite a few words now and I love that I can understand things that others can't, I always thought it cute when I'd see mummy's do that! but it's that moaning sound when you don't know what their saying, so they resort to pointing and screwing up their face, as if to insinuate "I understand your jibber but pointing with an annoying moan is difficult!?"

I enjoy her just as much as I always have. I have no battles with her sleep unless she is teething or coming down with something, she only has 6 more teeth to come, I believe, so that will eliminate one cause. 

I think because she now understand when I say no, she thinks she can also tell me no! Errrr no sweetheart I tell you no! I think it's important to differentiate between NO that's going to kill you and NO that's really annoying, the latter being the time when I would just usually try and distract her rather than just yell No 50 thousands times a day, it's for my own sanity too! 

She has her own mind, she knows what she wants and by God will she get it. I have NO idea where she gets that from!?!? (Smiles sweetly).

The twos are going to either break me down piece by piece or make me love my strong willed girl more and more each day, I think there's going to be a bit of both to be had! 

She loves all things I do, shopping and shoes being a few, much to DB's disapproval. Im glad he doesn't know where half my shoes are hidden if he thinks A has too many! 

I'll be back soon I promise! 

Liebster Award!... Me!?

Firstly, Thank you to http://mummydontsay.com/ for the nomination! Feeling very excited and pleased with myself! I've not really been a loyal or long term blogger but I love blogging and I joined Twitter to become closer to the blogging world, so thank you, it means a lot! So here are my 11 questions answered:

1.) What made you start blogging? 

Well, pregnancy wasn't my best friend. I didn't have too rough a time, a bit of morning sickness, a few trips to the hospital for various things and hormones, oh my lord the hormones. So some might say, I moaned a lot? It wasn't for me, it interrupted my life, everything I enjoyed doing, I either couldn't or wouldn't do anymore. I wanted my bubba, not this horrendous 9 months of attention and questions, oh how people love a question! 

So the reason I started blogging, was to get those feelings off my chest and hopefully make someone else feel like it was ok, because I felt like it too. It's such a journey I didn't want to forget but I also wanted to comfort those who also didn't enjoy pregnancy.

2.) Which post are you most proud of and why?

I would probably have to say my first post and the second too? http://www.faketantomummy.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/the-beginning-it-says-what.html

It took a lot of courage for me to write those feelings down and hit the publish button. Infact, it's only been the last 6 months I've even told anyone about my blog, I find it embarrassing when people read my feelings, it's like my diary? But of course it's fine for strangers to read!? I even surprised myself at how articulate (well I think so!) I was, somebody even commented on that! Maybe I'm more intelligent than anyone thought?

3.) How did you decide on your blog name?

Well it was easy really, which shocked me as even I would have thought I'd find it hard, being that I'm so indecisive! Before A, all I ever worried about was when I'd get to the gym, wether my Asos order would come before Friday or I'd have nothing to wear and that God would bless my fake tan to be streak free and as dark as possible for tomorrow morning! So you can see how my priorities changed, hence the name.

4.) What would your dream job be?

Honestly, since I was old enough to put a tiara on, I wanted to work in Disney World Florida. My dad took me at least twice a year, every year while I was growing up. It was and still is my most favourite place in the world. If DB ever decides to marry me, it would be my dream wedding too! I was going to work there for 6/12 months when I turned 21, unfortunately life happened and I was in a happy place and my job was going so well I just couldn't up and go, in a different life though, I would. I can't wait to take A, I think she'll love it just as much as I do.

5.) TV or Book?

Hilarious. I never have time for either?! But if I had to choose, it would be a book, being read by the side of a crystal clear pool, with a cocktail in my other hand. Tv only at Christmas, after a big family dinner and tea and biscuits watching only fools and horses!

6.) What is your fondest memory?

I don't want to be a cliche but my fondest memory to date, is the day I gave birth to my gorgeous baby girl. I miss that day, I would do it ten times over, to see her beautiful face for the first time and to spend our first night together as a family. It gives me a warm and happy heart.

7.) Jeans or Dresses?

Tough one! Jeans all day long, Dresses all night long! I have a wardrobe bursting at the seams for both!

8.) Describe your dream home.

Yolanda Foster's. Enough said. In Malibu, by the beach, open space, beautiful fresh feel but warm and homely, with a fridge the size of my kitchen. What more could a girl want.

9.) What is your favourite sweet treat?

Pancakes! Love love love them! Just plain, a little sugar, possibly a squeeze of lemon depending on how I feel. Happy days! 

10.) What's the most adventurous thing you've done?

Apart from having a baby, I'd have to say, off the top of my head, jumping off of a boat into the Mediterranean Sea with false eyelashes on and please consider I'm scared of all fish or anything that lives in the sea.

11.) Best family holiday?

We've only been away 3 times with A as a family, Spain twice, which we love, but I'd have to say Cornwall, not because we loved it but because both our parents came so A had two Nanny's and two Grandad's for a week, what more could she ask for. 

I'm so new to this so I'm not just going to nominate new bloggers because I don't know everyone yet, so I'll use this to learn more and nominate:

http://frommammawithlove.com/

http://www.workingmummyandwife.com/

http://www.daysinbed.com/

http://penniesaddup.co.uk/

https://intotheglade.wordpress.com/

http://lifewithbumps.co.uk/

http://firsttimevalleymam.com/

http://lifewithbabykicks.blogspot.ae/

https://4under4madness.wordpress.com/

My 11 questions:

1.) Who was your Blog inspiration?

2.) If you could choose anyone in the world to read your blog, who would it be?

3.) Before Bubba/s did you ever have a goal you didn't get to achieve?

4.) Who is your hero?

5.) What is your number 1 parenting tip?

6.) Full fat Lattè or Green Tea? 

7.) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

8.) Shoes or Bags?

9.) What advice would you give a newbie blogger?

10.) If you could do something all over again, what would it be?

11.) If you won the lottery, what's the first thing you'd buy? 

I'm sorry if you've already done it! 

Look forward to reading them Mummies xxxx

Growing up? Or maybe just growing wise?

I came to the conclusion a long time ago, that not everybody is your friend. 

I'm sure I have people reading this, that don't actually like me! So I decided, with age comes wisdom and with wisdom comes the strength to say, I - Don't - Care. 

The truth is, I don't. I used to, then one day I don't know when, I didn't. That settles my soul so much, the fact that I truly feel at peace with myself. 

Like all women, I have a busy life and I don't always have the time to see friends but I do what I can and my real friends know I would always be there. My real friends also have busy lives.

 I know who I am and what I would do for those I love and what they would do for me.

Life is about choices. You choose your own path and your own dream and you choose your journey. 

It sometimes goes off course and set backs are always around the corner, but to know who you are and what you want is crucial to being happy. I don't have time to second think about people who don't wish me well. Equally those who have hurt me, miss placed my trust or insulted my decisions.

I have all my priorities in place and I'm forgetful, I'm sometimes a little un-thoughtful and always a thinker not a speaker when it comes to my intentions but my intentions are always my best.

I've also learnt that 90% of my upset or sensitivity towards situations or people, stem from other people. 

Why do others try to push two people together, try to mend what broke or what wasn't even there to brake in the beginning? Why are others so concerned with the buisness of those who don't sit even too closely to them?

This I will never understand but I do have to remind myself that I know my own mind, I know how I feel and that is all that matters. The opinion of others is only the way that they see it, not how you felt it, so I choose to belive I am right. 

I make fast but well thought out decisions and I don't often change them. 

I felt the need to put these thoughts in a place, others might feel the same way too. 

Be the change you wish to see in this world. 

Women should empower each other not hate eachother. 

Lots of love xxxx 

Buggys & Bad Service

I have to admit, like all parents I want the best for A. When I say the best, I mean the absolute best! 

Her clothes are nothing less than next, I love next, the quality is so good and the quality is what I look for. When your washing clothes and soaking food stains out of their tops every day, you need quality that will last. 

Zara is also another favourite of mine, her coat at the moment is Zara and it's beautiful. Zara come up small I find, when it comes to children. I'm lucky though as A has a small frame and little legs! 

So quality for me, is everything and I look for it in everything. This wasn't compromised when I was looking at buggys, even her 'cheap' holiday buggy! 

When I was pregnant, everybody wanted to get in their two pence and try to tell me what buggy to go for and I honestly wanted to go with the opposite of the majority! But when I saw it, that one seemed to be my ultimate fav! 

I think everyone has different ideas when it comes to a buggy but I knew I'd get what I paid for. I'd heard a lot about the bugaboo and the Icandy, so having NEVER even pushed a buggy before, I went in and asked to see both! 

Mmmm... About that, I didn't find zebedee in Southend at all helpful or grateful to my spending the best part of a thousand pounds in their shop. 

The young girl who served us was sweet enough, she obviously didn't know all there was to know, but I appreciate we all have to learn. It was more the owners, stepping over the buggys on the floor with a slight inconvenienced look on her face, that didn't at all seem encouraging or even pleased we were in her shop!

The fact that I could use the icandy peach2 and I loved the colour, my Mum and I were sold! So after this we were advised that the besafe car seat was the way to go and we said we'll take them. As quick as that.

Even with the total amount above £1000

I think of all the mummy's I know that have shopped in Zebedee, I am the only person who didn't get a free cozy toes, cup holder or even a sunshade!!! I got nothing at all thrown in. 

This I obviously discovered later on when I advised my neighbour where to go for their pram and they came home having had a great deal on nursery furniture too, even told to cancel their order at mamas & papas because they could beat their price! 

You can imagine my horror! Especially since after my wonderful morning of pram shopping, in the not so happy pram shop, for my first born, I got stung by a wasp at 24 weeks pregnant, spent the rest of the weekend in hospital, taken by ambulance and pumped with steroids after an an anaphylactic shock! 

To really add insult to injury, when ringing back Zebedee to ask if I could also have an isofix base to go with my car seat that I would pick up with my pram 4 weeks before A was born, she had the audacity to tell me she couldn't reserve one unless I paid for it right there and then on the phone. So, you've already had all that money from me, two recommended customers who also spent lots of money and my pram I'm due to pick up and you think I'm going to leave you with a £129 isofix base and not pay for it? My custom was soon appreciated at John Lewis. 

I LOVE John Lewis. I bought a beautiful sheepskin liner to go in my beautiful pram, which Zebedee also didn't advise or recieve anymore of my money for! 

This sure enough wasn't the last time I was to be disappointed by this so called family run, independent baby shop! 

To sum up though, after 15 months of everyday use, my Icandy is my pride and joy! I walk with my bubba with pride! We love our wheels! 

I'm also VERY excited to learn that when bubba 2 comes along, I can send my icandy off for a total refurb with Icandy IService!!! 

Yes, IService!!! With bronze silver or gold packages to choose from, for a very good price they come and collect your Icandy, spruce it up (details found on website) and bring it back to you, like brand new!!!

Check out their website, I was amazed when I saw my friends, she even had a wheel that had fallen off and hers looks like a new buggy now!

Well done Icandy, you have outdone yourselves, as if the buggy itself isn't good enough, now I get to have the new wheels feeling the next time too!!

LOVE ICANDY ❤️

Until next time, love to all my mummy's 💜

xxxx

Getting back on track!

A is almost 15 months now and I can honestly say, now, we've got it together! 

Since she turned one we have just figured it all out. Well, almost all of it! 

Don't get me wrong, some days we've totally got by on the wing but mostly I'd say we've got there. 

I know a little bit more of what she does and she's figuring out how to communicate with me a little better.

It's still tough some times, no one said it would be easy! I'm not one of these mums that's afraid to ask, nor am I afraid to say it's hard and some nights during teething and colds I could have rang a grandparent! But I think that's normal, everyone I speak to has these moans, I think it's why we meet up for coffee with friends and sit near the door when Daddy's due home! 

I'm back into the gym again, I started personal training when she was 10 weeks old and I did really well but the lack of sleep drove me to the nearest sugar fix and that stopped me really achieving my goals. Sometimes it just has to be that day you get up and think, right, today I change. For me it was The new year, I decided I didn't want to feel tired and sluggish, I didn't want to feel like my jeans were too tight or that a bikini this summer wasn't an option!

I still have naughty days, today was one of those days! 

I drink green tea religiously, no more Yorkshire for me! I actually don't like normal tea at the moment? Not to say that won't change but it's not my cup of tea right now! I drink protein shakes for breakfast, they have to be at least 300 calories to get you through till lunch, none of these slimming shakes you pick up in the supermarket.

I don't snack on bad food either, I found myself having lots of biscuits and the biscuits obviously accompanied the tea which also had sugar in so without the tea alone, I'm down at least 5 sugars a day and God knows how much less from the biscuits! Once you get on that train it's easy but giving up your favourite things is hard!

I feel better in myself now, that's not to say it wasn't easy, the first week I hit hard, shakes for breakfast and lunch and a proper dinner, no snacks just water and green tea, my stomach thought my throat had been cut! The second week got easier and so on.

I'm 6 pounds off of my goal weight but I'm ok with that, I'm training hard, lifting and doing weight training at least 3-4 times a week and loving it, my shape has changed, my jeans fit nice and I've tried on some old dresses and they fit like a glove! I'm ready for a night out and bring on my summer holiday! I still have a way to go but things can only go up from here, right?

The tough times come when we're going through teething or colds, lack of sleep isn't good and it knocks our ability to function as we usually would like, so to all the mummies that find it hard, your not alone and your time to lose weight and eat well, will come, but don't expect it to with sleepless nights looming, your body needs energy and that's where the sugar comes in!

People ask all the time if I'm having another one, I will, just not now. We are pretty much there now and I'm feeling good with my parenting and with myself so to stop that now would be silly. We will expand our family and A will have a brother or sister but in due course and when I feel ready to dedicate everything I have to two children. I feel confident that my life with A is balanced well and we just got here, so we're staying here for a while! 

Don't be afraid to remember who you were before and bring her back to fit in with your new life as a mum, she's still there.

Love & tired hugs x x x x 

Feeling, like your not yourself?

O

So many friends and I have discussed this. I think it's important to acknowledge and be aware if you don't feel right because that's half the battle.

It doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you a bad mother and it doesn't make you less of a person. 

You and your body have gone through the most powerful changes, that I know for certain, no man could. You are solely responsible for that bubba and nothing to do with you or your life is important anymore, or for the time being and that's just how it is. 

It's your new life, your adapting to a 360 change. It will be normality at some point, as humans we need normality but time brings us this. 

I was glad I was honest with myself and knew something wasn't right. I felt like a totally different person, my hair, my skin, my body, all felt like someone else's, like i had stepped into somebody else's shoes. 

I felt nervous all the time and angry. It all went away as soon as I looked at her though, so I knew it wasn't post natal depression, I haven't suffered that, so I can't comment but my heart goes out to the Mummy's that have. 

I started to try and deal with my anxiety issues on my own, spoke a lot about it with my mum and some friends. 

I visited the doctor about something else one day, then when my blood test came back it saw that I had an under active thyroid. That, explained a lot! 

It doesn't mean that I don't have down days, don't we all! But generally I started to feel like me again. 

I truly believe until A was about 10months, nothing was settled, I still wasn't quite there or settled in any sort of way. Now, I feel settled. 

We have our little ways, don't get me wrong, like every parent, we make it all up as we go along, hope for the best and take it minute by minute, learning as we go. But now, i finally feel like I can get some 'me time' in and I know when I get 'me time', in my Mummy day! 

It's all normal, however you feel, it's normal. 

Don't ever feel afraid to talk about it, everyone has ears and everyone has feelings, share them, itl feel so much better to know that someone else was or is going through the same thing you are.

Happy thoughts!

Much Love Mummy's x

Bronchiolitis...

A has had lots of colds, 2 chest infections and now bronchiolitis. 

She started getting a little cough and the first night, slept for 13 hours. Then by the 3rd day I thought, this isn't a cold she has a chest infection again. I made an appointment to see a doctor, you can't prepare yourself for a doctor to say "I don't know why she has a temperature so you need to go to the hospital". 

Unfortunately, what I thought would need a few days of antibiotics, actually has to ride itself out, antibiotics don't touch a viral infection such as bronchiolitis. So my poor baby has a horrendous cough that sometimes makes her choke and lose her breath. 

According to the nurse at the hospital, 6 other babies had been in with Bronchiolitis that day, it doesn't make it any better but it's sometimes nice to know that what your child has, isn't uncommon! It's also likely to be caught in the months October to March and in babies under 1! So A is text book! 

The sleepless nights can make you feel like a tired mess. Every time she wakes up I can't deny I love the cuddles but I pray for a quick go back to sleep! 

She sleeps at funny times in the day too, when she has a cold. Always remember we heal best when we sleep, so put the routine on hold and let her sleep it off whenever she wants too.

A hates calpol, Nurofen, ibriprofen or anything related to making her better! The calpol works so quick at bringing her temperature down but I cannot and she will not let me give it to her, I've tried 100 different ways and each are as traumatising as the last, for her and myself! 

Every cough breaks your heart. You do everything you can to keep them away from colds but they still find their way in and after A gets it, guaranteed I will too. Then we are in trouble!

With every hurdle, as long as you do everything you can, your always being the best you can.

Hang in there xxx